xiao di di, please forgive me...

i feel sooo guilty about what happened just now during one of my papers..

so here it goes.

it was the exam for the childish module - mpw - and halfway the paper, this guy suddenly asked me whether he can borrow my calculator.. he TALKED to me!! i mean since young, you and i know not to ever talk to anyone during exams, right?. even if i drop my pencil/eraser/pen, i would raise up my hand. call me paranoid, i JUST don't want to be caught cheating.

so when i heard his voice, i began to get worried to be caught cheating or having the intention to cheat, cause the invigilator earlier on already said that she'll just take note of anyone having the intention to cheat and won't probe further if she catches you cheating... so i didn't say anything to that guy, and pointed the invigilator.. he thought that i didn't want to lend him, so instead of asking her whether he can borrow my calculator, he asked for permission to take his calculator... BUT again, this small boy boy didn't bring one and instead took his handphone... i was looking at my own paper then. When the invigilator told him "NO", someone behind offered her calculator..

Blah! I am like this selfish bitch who doesn't want to lend people calculator now.. but that wasn't what i meant loh...i meant asking the invigilator first then i'll lend him. this is my second last sem already, and i don't want to be caught cheating for just a little xiao di di who doesn't know what-not-to-during exams!

damn it lah.. i feel so bad and i have to live with that. i wanted to explain to him after the paper, but he kind of give me that attitude when i reminded him to do something else

... geerrr...

am i that bad?

that's the reason why I prefer to sit by myself during exams. like in the first row of the sr, where the table is too small to have two peeps, so i have that whole table to myself. okay, maybe i'm an antisocial egocentric selfish bitch.

mood:*guilty*